SNEAK PEEK of the chapter, I Want My Daddy…

What do you tell your child when they want their dad and his involvement is little to imagenone? Here is a small passage from my book I Want My Daddy… The Psychology of Abandonment, out of the chapter titled, I Want My Daddy…

 

What do you say to a toddler when they are crying out for their dad and you know that he is selfishly missing in action? Do you lie and say he’s out of town, busy, or sleeping, or do you tell the truth and say, “Baby, he just doesn’t give a fuck; he only cares about himself.”  I’m sure most opt to lie, as I have.  I’ve tried to maintain this heroic image of a father that hasn’t forgotten about his children but just has a lot to do sometimes.  However, it would be so much easier just to say he died because in reality, his absence is like death.  Instead of managing a temporary emotional loss, the child is tormented with ongoing pain and feels lost when they are abandoned. 

 

The absent parent has made a conscious choice not to be present in their child’s life. At least with death, a person knows why they don’t see that person anymore and can begin to heal and cope with that reality.  When a parent leaves a child without explanation regarding why, the feeling of rejection can begin to tear away at the child’s own self-worth.  In situations where the absent parent is consistently inconsistent, this can cause confusion, mistrust, and in small children separation anxiety.  This is also damaging to the child because he or she is left with a continuous false hope that maybe today, Dad will show up or maybe today, he will call, though he doesn’t. The grief begins to build up, and resentment slowly sets in.  The only reason we don’t tell our children the unfiltered, horrible truth is not to protect the image of the abandoner, but to protect the mental health and the hearts of our children.Book Coverbonus_3d 2

 

Find out how I handled this tough conversation with my small children. Go to Amazon.com and get your copy of my book ‘I Want My Daddy…The Psychology of Abandonment’ today! Or come see me at the Buzz Annual Book Fair, Saturday, March 28th, 2015 from 10am-5pm at Xavier University’s Cintas Center.

T. Nicole Taylor
T. Nicole Taylor is an author, blogger, community activist, 9 to 5 worker and full-time mom who want to help other single mothers heal and protect their kids from the effects of abandonment from their father. She also wants to help more men who are dads to realize the importance of their roles. With a strong urge to not fear their own inadequacies, because there is long lasting value in their time and care. As a testament of her own battles of being abandoned by an absent father, T. Nicole discovers ways in which she believes can help reduce the effects of abandonment and also increase the need for accountability. T. Nicole’s writing is provocative, thought provoking, and sometimes controversial. She is a writer who is not afraid to touch on the tough topics. I Want My Daddy…The Psychology of Abandonment is her first solo eBook. She has also co-authored a seductive and funny eBook, Soulful Vagina, with an incredible writing genius FBK aka Franki Johnnie whose done an interview on the Tom Joyner Morning Show. The duo was also on the Lincoln Ware Show on 1230 WDBZ the Buzz. T. Nicole Taylor is a native of Cincinnati, Oh. She has three beautiful kids and a dog. She has studied at the University of Cincinnati College of Arts and Science and graduated with honors with both an Associates in Paralegal Studies and a Bachelor of Science in Legal Studies at Kaplan University.

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